吃力不讨好！

最近帮忙以前参加过的合唱团写音乐剧剧本。 之中，因为个自的工作速度不同， 使自己非常烦躁。 尽量配合当中也不免觉得自己为何作这种吃力不讨好的工作。 演出时间定于11月27 日，时间非常紧迫， 但合作的对象似乎没有危机感，作事情慢条斯理，同时没有自己的主见，一直因为其他人的意见更改剧本。 写剧本最怕写写实的，一旦稍微与事实有点出入， 就会引起激烈反弹。 但是， 有时为了故事的丰富性， 难免加入稍微夸张及虚构的情节。 可是看戏的人却太认真，不是吹毛求疵，也不是鸡蛋里挑骨头，只是对某些人物的感情深厚，一味保护当事人，而强烈反对剧情的发展。其实，在写这个情节时，也是根据提供的资料编写，完全没有贬义，也没有在伤口上撒盐之嫌。其实，将心比心，如果叙述的不是他的好友， 可能他也没去注意那个情节，更不用说有那么大的反应。

我想当年我不能够在这个合唱团继续走下去，也是因为我不是一个能conform to formalities and conservative thinking 的人。也不知这回会答应帮忙，可能是因为好友开口了，心软不好意思拒绝。也许，我不安于保守思想，不适合佛堂里搞节目吧。

我累了。不会去想这么多了。 虽然说这个节目的成败与我无关，但对我一向做事情的原则，一旦接下了任务， 就一定要把它做好。 只好告诉自己，很快就会过去了，再忍一忍吧。

Just feeling tired and feel that I should not mind too much.  It is just that just dun understand certain people.  Maybe I really can't work with these people.  My mindset and theirs are definitely different.  I do not like to conform to formalities and conservative thinking and hence these years, I dun wish to be involved in any matters concerning with programmes in the prayer hall.  When it comes to performances, there are too many restrictions to be conformed with which affect the overall aesthetic presentation.  I dun think I can survive in such an environment.  I thank my buddies FN and BC for trusting me that I can do the job well.  But I think they might have overlooked the fact that I am not a person who conforms.

Other frustrations comes from the slowness of execution of work and there are so many areas that the team fails to look at even right at two weeks before the performance.  This is really frustrating at times.  Many things are not done until I bring it up. 

Hope things would turn better.

These few days after 01 Sep...

Have been busy since September starts.  Though I am having a 5 weeks break from the work, but have been busy with many other things.

Did some relief at BVPS and earn a bit for the holiday as the current job is part time and really no money during this 5 week period.

Thanks to SL and JC for introducing some kids to me for tuition.  Now increased the tuition to 2 more sessions per week.  Thinking of starting the enrichment classes next month after the students' exam. Will be renting a place at Gombak to do my tuition.  Hopefully this will take off and I can start my tuition centre next year.  Hope by then, PP will be well and had settle her problems, then we can really sit down and start our tuition services going.

Went for a short trip with GR, Mel and RL (GR's girlfriend) at KL.  Took a plane there on 12/09/09 and back on 13/09/09.  Though the trip was short, we did enjoyed ourselves shopping and walking around.  Took some photos and they are all uploaded in facebook.

Went for a financial (early Sep) and a medical review (22 Sep) at NKF.  Was hoping that they will accept me and then my medical fees can be reduced.  Have depleted my savings and really hope that NKF can help to relieve the financial burden.  I can't be living on my parents' savings too.  They are not working and I can't stop working!  Now really have to look at my expenses properly and plan wisely.  Got to save up for the Masters course in January too.

During the medical review, the doctor kept on reminding me of getting a donor.  Dialysis is not going to be the best solution for me.  With prolong treatment in dialysis, and with complications from the blood pressure, I might develop heart disease.  So the advice is for me to get a donor.  I am already placed on the waiting list for the deceased donor but that will be a queue of 10-12 years.  The doctor was very encouraging and advised me to press on and stay positive.  Get to know another patient Grace and the manager-cum-patient Joe.  They were both very encouraging also and also told me to stay positive.  Sometimes this is a pyschological fight that I have to go through.  The only way is to stay positive and life goes on.  I understand that fully and always try to stay happy (even though I do feel depressed at times).  But that is so much I can do.  I got to go on with life hoping that no more other problems develop.  I have failed kidneys and can't afford to have other organs failing. 

The greatest struggle now is not restricting me in the diet.  I have no problem with that as I can go without eating certain food that I might be craving for.  But I have a big problem, which the doctor also agree, that is, the restricitng of water intake.  The more I stop myself from drinking, the more craving for water I've got.  So far, restricitng water intake is really a hard fight.

After I have gotten very sick, I learnt to take things one at a time and slower.  I have to learn not to stress myself up.  The greatest support that I've got is from my parents, my aunties and my friends.  My parents reassured me that they will help to take care of my finances but I told myself I still have to take care of it myself.  Though they have been telling me to rest but knowing me, I will not stop work unless I can't really leave the bed.  I still want to be financially-independent.  My aunties are taking good care of my movement and food.  So I have no worries.  My friends are giving me the best emotionally support.  GR and Mel, though only know them for half a year, are so nice that they are willing to go for a short trip with me, bearing the slowness and my relapses.  Well wishes from all of the friends are really the strength for me to go on.  Thanks to all.

I am happy though I am sick as I have the support from all.  Thank you all.  I will be strong and go on.

Ending Semester 1

I have left the new workplace that I mentioned in October 03's blog since March this year.  Now currently working in anothet new new workplace.  It is of good experience working with youngsters.  At least I dun have to so all the nanny job that I used to do in the previous two workplace. 

Whenever my friends asked me about my new job, I would always tell them that I enjoyed the current job very much.  Maybe I am doing what I like now.  Recently, there was a feedback collected.  Was that most of the average score that I obtained is higher than department, module and school average.  Except for cognitive, where I obtained an average of 0.05 less than the various averages, the rest of the averages are above average.  Quite a good achievement for a beginner at the current job.  Hope to get better scores in the next Semester. 

Think I will miss my students, after working with them for almost half a year.  All the best for the coming UT3 for all my students. 

Unlucky Day

Today went back to school for Problem Briefing for next week's lesson.  I was at the traffic junction just before RP.  Just then the phone rang.  I reached out for the paper bag for my phone.  But I dint realised that I had released the brake and I knocked onto the taxi in front of me.

I was shoecked but no choice. Face it lor.  My bumper in front is dented but the taxi is alright.  The Malay driver was very nice and he assured me," Brother, nothing damaged to my car. Dun worry!" and he assured me more than twice it was okay and he left.  I was so appreciative towards him.  If it had been a chinese taxi driver, he definitely want at least $100 from me. (It happened to me before and to RQ before too.  There was no signs of dent and they insist there were damages and wanted to be paid at least $100 to let the matter rest.)

Looking forward to meet my ex-pupils this Saturday.

Looking forward to start work next week too.  Miss my current students too.

Recommending another song from Meng Die Die Meng.  The song is Huan Die.  Very nice.

CT listened to the other one and thought it was sung by me.  LOLL.  Do I really sound like Jiu Jian?

Long Time No See...

 Hi to all my friends!  Have not been writing in the blog for a long long time as no time to write.  As many friends had known, my health is on the rocks and hence I have been spending time nursing my health and no time to write.

Now that I am all right and have some energy maybe it is time for me to pen down what happened in the past few weeks.

I have stopped work since 9th July.  On the 8th July, I went back to work but I was struggling to move myself around the campus.  I told GR that I was very sick and he told me it would be better that I take a break and I did.  The next day, I couldn't bring myself out of the bed and I called KC urgently to arrange for a cover for me.  And from that day on, I was lying in bed for the whole day.  I couldn't eat or drink.  Drink maybe.  I threw out practically everything that I tried to swallow.  And sometimes even more.  For that week, I lived on vitamin pills (B, C, D, E) and some protein powder and bird nest.  I practically couldn't eat at all.

Until 13th July, I dragged myself to NUH to see my doctor.  She refused to let me go home at all after the blood test.  She said my life is at stake le.  I at first still insisted on going home. However, she said doesn't allow as the toxic in my bod had reached an alarming state.

I had no choice but to be sent to A n E and went through the first dialysis session, an urgent one.  My aunt and grandma who went to NUH with me were very sad.  They accompanied through with me till I was sent to the ward.  I was prepared for it.  I was sad because of their sadness.

Stayed in the ward for a week till Saturday.  Completed 4 dialysis sessions and was discharged when the doctors were confident that I can start dialysis outside.  Now I go to the private centre at Jurong East every alternate days, either Mon, Wed and Fri or Tue, Thurs and Sat.  Started with some tuition too..  Mrs RC, Mrs A sent their kids to my home for tutition.  I can't travel much for the time being and they helped to bring their chikd to my place.  I also do not want my condition to affect their studies.  The mothers were very understanding.  Thank you mothers.

During my stay in the hospital, thank you to those who came to encourage me and kept me company.  Even if it for a while, I am very glad.  Coz I looked forward to talk to someone.  Thank you Mrs R.R, Mdm ML, S.K., CT, Mrs MC and ROSE.  Thank you for your well-wishes and gifts too.  Not forgetting JL who represented JL bro, MY and ZW.  And also not forgetting YZ who came to encourage me on the second day.  Dear all pals, I am okay now.  XY and ROSE came to vist me when I was discharged at home.  Thank you too.  Thank you to Mrs AW too.  Of course, I am not forgetting those who sms and called me during this period to encourage me.  A call also means a lot to me. 

This Saturday, my ex-students are coming. Looking forward to see them.  Thank you to JJ for organising the ex-students' visit.